I was traveling to office today by office bus. Got a window sit so morning sunlight and air were pleasing me. I decided to listen to some songs and so was listening to few songs which are there in my cell phone. I was looking out of window and started thinking about the book I am currently reading, Zen and art of motorcycle maintenance. I was thinking about Kant, Hume, Inductive and Deductive logic, religion and what not. Soon I realized that I had reached office and had to wear an I-Card.
I felt as if this I-Card is telling me that I can not think of Philosophy and Religion and Kant and Hume now. I must better start concentrating on how I can reduce the cost of logistics. Strange as it may sound, had this I-card been a human being I would have asked him who are you to tell me what to think and what not to think, but then I immediately felt how naïve this feeling was. Company is paying me for my brain. How can I ask such a question to I-Card. I have worked for 16 months before this assignment but never felt like this before. I don't know why?
Is it because my loyalty is different towards 2 companies. Earlier I worked as a full time employee here I am working as a consultant. This is not true because I loved or hated to work equally in both the places.
Or it is because that now I am certainly feeling that I-card is no longer a symbol of belongingness or pride but a modern form of mental slavery.
May be I am being too harsh on I-card. It may be only because of mental fatigue, a result of week long (Non) working.
Now I understand it's because I don't see any meaning in the job I am doing it's not worth 2 months of my life. It can be finished in 10-12 days. It's because I am forced to spend my time doing nothing. This is what I hate, most wasting my time. Not that I am not learning new, I understand if I don't learn new every day it's my problem not theirs. The frustration is catching on and I-card is not to be blamed.